支招小作文（80） | 餅圖3，上下兩個餅

* 餅圖，選自《劍橋雅思真題集10》

Shown in the pair of pie charts are the use of energy of an average Australian household and the emission of greenhouse gas ensuing from it.

* 注意開頭處的倒裝現(xiàn)象。

* 注意詞匯：不及物動詞ensue (from)。

Energy is predominantly used for heating, whose use of energy accounts for 42% of a household’s total consumption. Water heating – using 30% of the total energy – is the second largest energy user. These two users contrast sharply with all others – cooling, lighting, refrigeration, and other appliances – whose energy use range from 2% to 15%.

* 三句話就可以寫完第 一個餅。

* 第 一句話注意主語的選擇：energy。因為用了這個主語，句子的內(nèi)容邏輯就避免了流水賬，即“什么項目用了多少能量”。然后用非限定性定語從句補充說明百分比。

* 第二句用了常規(guī)主語，但是為了避免流水賬（“什么項目用了多少能量”），把介紹百分比的部分寫成了狀語插入的語法形式，于是主句表達的是“water heating是第二大能耗項目”。同時“第二大”這個表達構(gòu)建了與上一句之間的聯(lián)系，拿到CC文脈分。

* 第三句主語是指代，于是就把前兩句話和第三句話構(gòu)建了聯(lián)系，拿到CC文脈分。在賓語處用同位語把圖中出現(xiàn)的項目介紹全。然后定語從句修飾all others，同時用“區(qū)間寫法”避免羅列數(shù)字。

* 詞匯上注意“users”，類似擬人。

Of all those energy users, two major emitters of greenhouse gas are water heating and other appliances. Their emissions account for 32% and 28% respectively, and either percentage roughly equals that of the emissions of heating and refrigeration combined. It is also noteworthy that greenhouse gas emitted by heating and by refrigeration is of almost the same amount. In addition, cooling and lighting are not only the smallest energy users but also the smallest greenhouse gas emitters.

* 主語的多樣：四個句子的主語各不相同。

* 避免流水賬，即羅列“什么項目用了多少能量”。尤其注意第二句的后半句，把前后兩句話建立了聯(lián)系。

* 第三句是形式主語替代主語從句。

* 詞匯上注意“emitters”，類似擬人。

Overall, the differences are apparent between one item and another in both the usage of energy and the emission of greenhouse gas.