《劍16》Test 2 大作文詳解 | 廣告強(qiáng)調(diào)“新”到底有啥影響？

《劍16》Test 2 大作文

教師范文

01

Recent years have witnessed galloping updating of consumer goods. Accordingly, when manufacturers promote their products in adverts, they specify the novelty of those updated models. There are apparent reasons for this trend, and in general it is a negative development.

(40 words) 開頭段落不需要話多，說清楚題目中給出的內(nèi)容，以及對提問的部分有個籠統(tǒng)回應(yīng)就可以。

? gallop 快速進(jìn)展 （不及物動詞）

? promote 推銷 （及物動詞）

? specify 具體說明 （及物動詞）

? novelty 新奇 （不可數(shù)名詞）

? apparent 明顯的

02

Obviously, a new feature is considered to be a selling point. Advertisers stress the feature in the hope that a product would sell better for its newness. The emphasis is to send a message that there is something different and new that is worth attention and purchase. A new feature may also be a competitive advantage, and it needs to be advertised. When a manufacturer develops a new function, a new design—even a small detail, or a new look—a new color or new packaging, the purpose is to give consumers better user experience, thereby making the product better competing with the rival products on the market.

(108 words) 主體部分第 一 段回應(yīng)第 一 個提問。理想說來，寫兩個理由。實(shí)在想不出兩個理由，寫一個也可以被接受。這樣可以拿到TR這個評分維度的分?jǐn)?shù)。從GRA的評分維度來看，注意句子結(jié)構(gòu)的豐富性，倒不是要句子結(jié)構(gòu)復(fù)雜，而是這么多句子相互之間有結(jié)構(gòu)上的區(qū)別，比如本段的四個句子，結(jié)構(gòu)上有明顯的區(qū)別。以及要注意句子的長短不要單一，要有長有短。就這個段落而言，因?yàn)橹挥兴木湓?，CC維度的得分本身比較容易，簡單說來，只要做到“總—分”結(jié)構(gòu)明顯就可以了。

? feature 特征 (可數(shù)名詞)

? selling point 賣點(diǎn)

? advertiser 廣告商

? stress 強(qiáng)調(diào) （及物動詞）

? newness 新奇 （不可數(shù)名詞）

? competitive advantage 比較優(yōu)勢 （可數(shù)名詞）

? user experience 用戶體驗(yàn) （不可數(shù)名詞）

? rival product 競爭產(chǎn)品/對手產(chǎn)品 （可數(shù)名詞）

03

Although the reasons make sense, this kind of advertising act may be of little benefit to consumers. The new feature, which is intended to win the competition and to arouse consumers’ desire to buy the product, may be unpragmatic or valueless. Consumers overwhelmed with those advertisements may end up buying things they do not really need and feel disappointed, deceived or humiliated. This trend is negative also because it encourages consumerism. Since such advertising is to excite the consumers who view or read the ads and take advantage of their impulse, it may create needs that are not genuine and provokes wants that are excess. Any consumption as a result of this may be dangerous. 

(115 words) 主體部分第二段回應(yīng)第二個提問。同樣也是寫兩個方面比較理想，從而拿到TR維度的分?jǐn)?shù)。要從GRA的評分維度，和上一個段落基本是同一個要求。CC維度而言，這個段落依然整體是“總—分”結(jié)構(gòu)明顯。雖然本段的句子數(shù)量比上一段多，但是句子之間的聯(lián)系也比較容易構(gòu)建。

? be intended to 意圖是

? arouse 引起 （及物動詞）

? desire 欲望 （可數(shù)名詞）

? unpragmatic 不務(wù)實(shí)的

? overwhelm （感官上/感受上）吞沒 （不及物動詞）

? disappoint 使…失望 (及物動詞)

? deceive 欺騙 （及物動詞）

? humiliate 羞辱 （及物動詞）

? encourage 慫恿 （及物動詞）

? impulse 沖動 （可數(shù)名詞）

? genuine 真實(shí)的

? excess 過度的

04

Overall, the reasons for this trend of advertising are easy to see and to understand. At the same time, there are obvious negative effects. 

(24 words) 結(jié)尾段落更不需要話多，宏觀總結(jié)，覆蓋主體部分的內(nèi)容就是合格的結(jié)尾了。目標(biāo)不在超級高分的同學(xué)在結(jié)尾段落時，都不需要考慮用詞上的花樣，正確就安全，安全就好。