《劍16》Test 2 小作文詳解 | 制造類流程圖如何寫才能得高分？

審題

常規(guī)的制造類流程圖，圖不難看懂，注意所有信息包含（TA），銜接手段（CC），動詞使用靈動（LR），以及語法層面不能都是簡單句（GRA）。

Rephrasing

The flow chart is an illustration of how sugar is manufactured from sugar cane.

? 主句部分可以從句型上進行改寫，將主謂賓改為主系表結(jié)構(gòu)，of后面則是how引導(dǎo)的從句。

Body 1

To produce cane sugar, one raw material – <同位語的插入現(xiàn)象> ripe sugar canes – is the necessity. <先后順序可以利用時態(tài)來體現(xiàn)> Having matured for one year to a year and a half, the canes are reaped <注意兩個箭頭，可使用平行結(jié)構(gòu)> either by a giant harvester or by farmers with sickles. <表語從句> The subsequent step is that the <頂針：前一個的動詞可以轉(zhuǎn)成同根詞不同詞性變體，加強步驟間銜接緊湊> harvested canes are squeezed into juice by a rolling crusher. Till now, all the preparatory procedures are accomplished.

? 利用時態(tài)、句式、同根詞變體等方式，進行銜接，而非機械使用firstly, secondly, then等。

Body 2

After preparation, <倒裝句> here comes the next step of pouring the raw juice into a filter made of limestone to have the juice refined. <方位詞引導(dǎo)的完全倒裝句> At the bottom of this filter is an exit, through which the <同根詞不同詞性變體> filtered <juice上義詞> fluid is instilled in a heated stove, in which it is turned into thick syrup by evaporating the moisture. Afterwards, the hot syrup is placed in a spinning centrifuge for the purpose of detaching the sugar crystals from the <syrup上義詞> liquid. The process ends with dehydrating and chilling the sugar solids in a container.

? Lexis: 重點關(guān)注標(biāo)紅動詞與圖中動詞的同義替換。

Overview

Overall, the method whereby cane sugar is produced is time-consuming, consisting of four main procedures – cultivating, pressing, separating, and drying, and the equipment used is rather primitive.

? TA：考官對于overview的要求，在近幾年一直反復(fù)強調(diào)需要more detailed，因此步驟需稍微細化。

? GRA：whereby后面是關(guān)系副詞引導(dǎo)的定語從句，等同于through which。