《劍16》Test 1 大作文詳解 | 為啥大家想了解居住屋的歷史？

《劍16》Test 1 Task 2

審題

拿到題目的一瞬間，同學(xué)們是否發(fā)覺(jué)此題的思考維度可高可低，可宏觀可微觀，話題涉及歷史，也算頗為抽象稍具難度了。

筆者稍加揣測(cè)大多數(shù)學(xué)生看到此題后的頭腦風(fēng)暴，應(yīng)該多為諸如“人們閑的沒(méi)事干、人們想知道過(guò)去的歷史從而指導(dǎo)、過(guò)好現(xiàn)在生活“之類的說(shuō)辭。請(qǐng)持此類觀點(diǎn)的同學(xué)自行翻閱《劍16》后面貼上的考生范文，再來(lái)閱讀本文，需時(shí)刻牢記題中的限定”they live in”。

索性雅思寫作不涉及考察學(xué)生的學(xué)術(shù)視野和研究方向，所以本題大可不必“往上走“去談什么叫作”地緣視閾下的社會(huì)變遷“，這樣太難了、太高了。筆者索性就從大多數(shù)學(xué)生可能會(huì)想到的觀點(diǎn)著手去盤這篇看似簡(jiǎn)單實(shí)則微難的文章。

Introduction

Seeking novelty seems to be one facet of human nature that can hardly be bent. It prevails, even spreading to all walks of life, with discovering the history of residence no exception. Of course, reading materials or having a casual chat with people around will suffice.

? 開局的引入不用拖拖拉拉給人云里來(lái)霧里去的感覺(jué)，直接交待“筆者要干嘛“就行了。

? Lexis的雕琢不要刻意為了用詞而用詞，用得恰如其分就好，prevail, suffice你品品。

Body 1

Surrounded by various news, especially the marketplace gossip, most of us may be rather concerned with the ins and outs of our own real estate. An ordinary murder case that has been conducted in a community, if deliberately exaggerated, may easily stir us up, driving us to ardently probe into the history of this community, and such exploration goes beyond. Certainly, there are either instances where a house, after meticulous investigation, turns out to be a former residence of a celebrity or instances where a building finally proves to be a memorial to a particular person or a historic event. This can all be attributed to people’s yearning for novelties. I have also been to ‘New Place’, the world-renowned dwelling of William Shakespeare in Stratford, where, on an annual basis, millions of patrons are fascinated by the fine arts of tragedies; I still feel perplexed why this literary lion, who is not so well-educated, is able to make it right HERE, and this curiosity always acts as an incentive to pay another visit.

? 首二句以“事件感“代入去回應(yīng)人們的獵奇心理，這也是一種最常見(jiàn)的寫作手法；

? 本段二三句中出現(xiàn)的語(yǔ)法現(xiàn)象值得一提：if從句的省略現(xiàn)象作插入語(yǔ)，后面there be句型中嵌套了either … or …的句間平行結(jié)構(gòu) (而且是從句的呼應(yīng)平行)。還是非常建議同學(xué)們背誦及模仿使用的。如果句法不懂，就問(wèn)你的寫作老師吧；

? 本段的頭兩個(gè)句子的syntactic structure都十分高能，做好解構(gòu)和模仿工作吧？定、狀從用得好，你就能領(lǐng)略到寫作世界的蔚然大觀；

? “This can be attributed to ……“ 長(zhǎng)句子之后嵌入一個(gè)短句。前面的句子內(nèi)部信息較為密集，需要在此處剎個(gè)車、緩一下信息流淌速度，使得文章有張有弛；

? 機(jī)考已成大勢(shì)所趨，一不小心就敲多了，但表意清晰、句子水平，考官會(huì)愿意讀下去的，全文300字出頭的文章筆者考場(chǎng)親測(cè)有效，放心寫，別跑題就成。同學(xué)們也可以讀一下C16 T3后面官方附贈(zèng)的sample answer, 也是350 words+，也不失為一篇不錯(cuò)的文章，分?jǐn)?shù)不高，但是道理講明白了就成。

Body 2

As to the research methods, reading materials or search information online is a commonplace. More precisely, it is due to the well-established database formed through geographical links that a person can easily get to the bottom of such residence, as long as it is not so rare and obscure. By the way, during the trip, I also talked a lot with some senior townsmen who have already familiarized themselves with the surroundings, and their jocular remarks shed a positive light on my misgivings.

? Lexis: 如果你的作文要7+，那么less common vocabulary, compound, and idiomatic expressions必不可少，如：well-established, get to the bottom of, familiarize sb. with sth., shed light on, jocular remarks等等；還有那個(gè)rare and obscure看見(jiàn)了么，修辭中的押尾韻 (consonance)。

? TR: “達(dá)意” （or “表意功能”）永遠(yuǎn)是雅思寫作語(yǔ)言關(guān)的第 一 要義，追求極簡(jiǎn)與自然即可。

Conclusion

In conclusion, I argue that the main reason is people’s curiosity, no matter it is for a utilitarian or unconscious purpose, and that the methods have been detailed above.

? 只要實(shí)現(xiàn)了表意功能，結(jié)尾偷懶又如何？筆者也就推薦一句復(fù)合句完結(jié)就好。筆力不夠就拆成兩句也罷。

? 雖然全篇對(duì)于Task Response中reasons一支的回應(yīng)，筆者僅拋出“獵奇“一詞，但是經(jīng)過(guò)body 1的詳述后，結(jié)局分層為for utilitarian or unconscious purposes, TR也是OK的。