6月5日雅思大作文示范寫作 | 家庭影響 or 外界影響更大？

2021年6月5雅思大作文題目

A family has a great influence on children’s development, but the influence from outside the home plays a bigger part in children’s life. Do you agree or disagree?

范文及解析

Introduction

Behind children’s upbringing usually lie sundry factors, of which, from my perspective, the external impacts rather than parental ones make a larger difference.

【解析】

教育類老題重現(xiàn)，探討教育者誰的影響更大。開頭開門見山。

※  upbringing n. 教養(yǎng)，培養(yǎng)

Concession + Refutation

As an inseparable part in children’s life, the family does play a crucial role in their growth. This is mainly because children, especially when they are at an early age, are usually accompanied by their parents, whose personal examples and didactic manners will impact kids’ conduct. In other words, such is the instinct that young kids are inclined to imitate what their parents do, which naturally follows that children, to some extent, seem to be the miniatures to mirror what kinds of people their parents are.// However, does the family have the greatest influence? The answer may be “no”. Such impacts decay as children grow older, since they are less likely to be parasitic on the family as they used to be.

【解析】

讓步：家庭的影響誠然對(duì)孩子也有比較大的影響，畢竟言傳身教，但是這種影響會(huì)隨著孩子年齡增長而逐漸削弱。

※  didactic adj. 愛說教的

※  miniature n. 縮影

※  mirror vt. 反映，反射

※  decay vi. （力量、影響等）衰退，減少

※  be parasitic on 寄生于

Argument

As a matter of fact, information derived from the outside world matters more. <總分展開> For starters, compared with parents, who themselves may not be well-educated, authoritative teachers tend to exert more influences on children’s nurturing, whether academically or morally. To illustrate, in class, knowledgeable teachers assume their inescapable responsibilities by imparting certain knowledge and skills into children’s mind; after class, it is teachers that figure out and correct students’ disciplinary problems when observing how children interact with their classmates.// Besides, with the cutting-edge technologies progressing, children are bombarded with mountains of information through digital gadgets on hand, which gradually facilitates them to foster their own values, with guardians who are often wrapped up in their work being less influential.

【解析】

細(xì)化外界因素，對(duì)比論證家長的影響如何減少：1.學(xué)校教育：老師無論在學(xué)術(shù)上還是道德上，都對(duì)孩子有影響，且相比較自己沒有受過良好教育的家長更具權(quán)威性；2. 科技發(fā)展，孩子的信息渠道增多，而家長忙于工作，無法一直嚴(yán)格監(jiān)管。

※  be wrapped up in sth. 把全部精力放在某事上（以至于沒有時(shí)間關(guān)心其他事）

Conclusion

In light of the above, it is crystal-clear that the impacts from the family are overshadowed when set against those from outside the home.

【解析】

重申觀點(diǎn)